Kool and the Gang must have been in the Keys in July when they wrote the above song. Oy vey, hot! This entry will be 2 days in one – because I am just about recovered from our wild day and night in Key West.
So, let’s back up a day. Rich and I packed up a few things and headed south, towards Key West. It is about a 1 and a half hour ride from Marathon, on (in?) Grassy Key. We had to cross 7 mile bridge, which was a bit scary for me. The Overseas Highway that runs the length of the Keys is a 2 or 4 lane highway, depending on where you are. On the 7 mile bridge, it’s 4 lanes, so I didn’t have to hold my breath as much as I thought. Here’s today’s trivia question: WHY would the speed change from 55 mph to 45 mph – and 35 mph AT NIGHT – through a particular part of Big Pine Key?
After arriving around 11 a.m., we realized that this would be a big walking day. One of us (the OLDER one!) didn’t realize exactly how much walking we would do! We parked the car in an all day lot for $10.00. Those of you familiar with a Sunday at the Jersey shore, or a day in New York City know that $10.00 for all day parking is a decent price. Rich had read that there was a walking “Pelican” tour around Key West which visited all the “famous” places. Walking tours have worked well for us in the past, so we were game.
Well, this walking tour had many stops. Unfortunately, we found most of them uninteresting, insignificant…in other words, boring. The map that accompanied the free walking tour (the map cost a dollar) was hard to read, and in some instances, just plain wrong. After way too long, we ditched the Pelican tour, and just went exploring.
We were craving coffee. I was craving a clean rest room. This led us to a spotless Yogurt place next to Starbucks (no, Starbucks did NOT have a bathroom). Rich and I went to the “Serve yourself” yogurt station, filled up a cup, put on a few toppings, and went to pay….and had a heart attack when the bill was $21.75!!! We spent almost $22.00 for yogurt! I guess we have to figure in the cost of a clean bathroom as well.
In Key West, there are hundreds of little shops for all the tourists. We traversed back and forth down Duval Street, the main drag. We were headed to the town square, Mallory Square, on the docks of the Gulf of Mexico. Once we reached the Gulf side, and found a little beach and some shells, what did we have to do but….go and see the Ocean side! This would CLEARLY have been better accomplished with a bus, car, scooter, bike, piggyback ride, etc. But, we went on foot – the old fashioned way.
Several water bottles and diet cokes and respite stops later, we were facing the Atlantic Ocean. We were at the southernmost point, at the southernmost beach, on the southernmost block in the USA. They milk that southernmost thing to death. I was probably the southernmost 50-something Jewish woman who was gonna pass out from the heat!
Once we arrived at the Ocean side, we had to touch what most people refer to as “The Thimble”. It is the landmark, shaped basically like a big thimble that announces that whole southernmost point thing. The landmark is supposed to look like a large buoy. In reality, it does resemble a sewing thimble. It also states that we were only 90 miles to Cuba. In fact, it clearly says that from the end of Key West, one is closer to Cuba than they are to Miami. Very cool fact that would have made an excellent trivia question. Oh well, next time.
Tourist-y stop done, we backtracked to the Key West Butterfly and Nature Observatory. It was on the “You must see this” list of many. And, I am glad to say, it lived up to the hype. Beautiful, massive multi-colored butterflies flying around your head, arms, legs, and making picture taking a challenge. We did pretty well. Other than unbelievably hot, it was a great stop. I even managed a souvenir for myself. That’s all – 1 and I’m done.
By now, it was about 3 in the afternoon. We just had to get out of the heat. We ate lunch in a nice little place by the name of Sweet Teas. Clean, cool, friendly and tasty – who could ask for anything more? We struck up a conversation with the waitress. She told us how unimpressed she was, living in Key West. We told her, we could think of many places that were way worse in which to live. (Wanna guess??) We asked for her recommendations, being the local that she is, that we should definitely not miss. An employee who overheard the conversation, jumped right in. His quote: “Hookers and Blow!!” I DON’T think he was referring to needlepoint….and I am pretty sure his second reference would ALSO land us in the Key West Clink. So much for recommendations!
If you have been following, you will recognize that late in the afternoon on the 10th, WE were on the Ocean Side of Key West, and our car was parked by the Gulf. We headed back. On foot. In extreme heat. With blinding sun. Really – a fun time was had by all. When we passed a bank, and the thermometer registered “99 degrees”, it made the experience even more special. We arrived at the car after 6. I was close to tears. Rich was dizzy and weak. After 20 minutes sitting in the air conditioning, drinking a large, cold soda, we felt better. Then came the next challenge. We were hanging around for the “night life”. We wanted to change into some classier, less sweaty clothes that we packed along. Where could we change was the question. In the car, was the answer! What did we have with which to wash up? Why, we had Poland Springs bottles of water, of course! Nothing but the best for us tourists! It was insanely comical. We could barely breathe, we were laughing that hard. I had to reapply my make up twice, as I was laughing so hard that I was crying. Just as we were finishing, a ROOSTER strutted by the car! We were the Beverly Hillbillies, 2011 edition! However, we looked pretty good.
In Mallory Square in Key West at sundown, there’s much to see and do. There are artists and street performers, food vendors and tons of tourists. The main attraction is the setting of the sun, which is magnificent. We watched sword swallowers, jugglers, acrobats, singers, and took in the local flavor. It was almost comfortable with the sun down, and the breeze coming in off the Gulf. We ended up in an “establishment” ( read “bar”) by the name of Sloppy Joe’s. I know, I know – why in heaven’s name would they name a bar after a deli sandwich with cole slaw and Russian dressing? Even more importantly, what the hell is Marla doing in a bar? I asked myself the same question – repeatedly. Rich insisted that I drink AT LEAST one drink this vacation. So, he ordered me a “Malibu Mango Mojito”. It was sweet and tasty. It was frozen. I did not get drunk, or even a tiny bit stupid (as I usually do). I finished ¾ of the drink. These are all big moves on my part! I have to be honest, it tasted like Rita’s Mango Ice.
Around 10 p.m., a band began to perform. “Juke Box Heroes”, a 5 man cover band, ROCKED the house with tons of ‘70’s, ‘80’s and current hits. They were really fantastic. I think Rich is trying to get them for Mikaela’s Bat Mitzvah. So we danced a little, sang a lot, and limped out towards our car at 11:30. On our way out of town, we got to see a drop of the “other” side of Key West. We noticed two young men standing outside of a club, “greeting” the tourists. They were ALMOST wearing underwear. It was very small, wedgie-producing underwear. Rich reacted in a very mature, 40+ year old manner. I believe he said, “BLAHHHHHH!!!!!!! EW!!!!!!! I DON’T NEED TO SEE THAT!!!!!” I, of course, handled things differently. I wanted to go back and get a picture. Too bad Rich was driving – I was overruled.
The ride home was dark, long, and …did I mention dark? We got in at 1. That was all only ONE DAY. Can’t say we don’t jam pack our vacations! My legs aren’t speaking to me anymore, as they are so sore from all the sight-seeing. Rich’s hips are angry at him, as well. We overdid it with sun and “soaking up local color”. Today was a down time day – it was, actually, what a regular person would call “A Vacation”! We straightened up, answered some email, and sat by the pool. We made a quick trip to the “Winn Dixie” Supermarket (I love that name!), and then just laid very low. There was a late day down- pour, out of nowhere. The sun was out, there was a faint rainbow, and the rain was coming down in sheets. Rich continued to barbeque – it cooled him down a bit. We ate, we went to the peer at our RV Park, and watched the sunset. It never gets old. And tonight was the first night that it was cool enough to sit outside and blog under the stars. Rich thinks I’ve written enough. He’s started to refer to me as “Mrs. Rowling”. Of course, I had to TELL HIM the author of Harry Potter. That’s me….I know a little about….a little. Oh…the last trivia question about Jeter was answered by my ole Y day camp fellow camper, Ellen M. A. She gave us the date of Jeter’s first home run. My question was about Jeter’s first hit – and the answer is May 30, 1995. But good work, Ellen! I appreciate the responses! Enjoy the pictures. More tomorrow.
Marla
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- “Luuu-cyyy, where are you?”
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- Speechless.
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- Southernmost Sweating Couple.
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- The biggest butterfly we’ve ever seen.
